Teen girls, by now you have read Contemporary Teen’s article The Honeymoon Period: Why it Will Not Last, and you are looking for answers to ensure that your relationship survives through this tumultuous time. While it can be confusing and extremely painful that your relationship with your boyfriend seems to be slipping through your fingers, it really doesn’t have to be the end. As mentioned in the previous article, what you are experiencing is the distressing transition from the blissful honeymoon period to the power struggle stage of your relationship cycle.
Truth be told, many relationships do not proceed past this point because it really is a tough period in any relationship. However, if you understand what is transpiring, you could potentially avoid throwing a healthy and fruitful relationship to the wayside. So read on!
The Power Struggle
The honeymoon period ends when you and your boyfriend have reached the point where you are completely comfortable with one another. Therefore, you both naturally begin to show your true colors. One of you might actually start doing so first, and once this happens, a push-pull scenario ensues. What does this mean?
You will begin to see traits in him (and vice versa) that you either didn’t notice before or he didn’t bring to the table. For instance, you may learn that he really doesn’t like to go clothes shopping with you and would rather be home watching baseball. Since this is a change from his ‘normal’ behavior, you naturally become offended. You are perplexed as to why suddenly he divulges this. As well, you may start to notice his annoying habits and other traits may begin to bother you too, which didn’t before. As a result, you may begin to unknowingly distance yourselves form each other, or argue increasingly more.
It’s a Critical Time – Tread Lightly
The power struggle stage is THE most critical stage in the relationship cycle. This is where relationships just, well, end. However, they don’t have to. If you communicate openly with your boyfriend (and vice versa), and both of you are willing to compromise and accept each other for who you truly are, then you can move onto the next stage – commitment.
One aspect I have learned the hard way is that you need to realize and accept, that nobody is perfect. He WILL have traits that get under your skin. This is unavoidable because you are in fact two different people. Put it in the perspective of your family members (mom, dad, brother, sister, etc.). You love them, but they most likely get on your nerves too. However, you somehow look past their bothersome traits or accept them because ultimately they are good people, who you enjoy and love.
The Outcome
When you feel that your relationship has in fact hit a standstill, and arguments are rearing their ugly head, remember it doesn’t have to be the end. Once you realize that you have crossed into a seemingly more complicated place in your relationship cycle – the power struggle stage, you can move forward. While the honeymoon is indeed over, know that another more blissful stage is waiting for you – commitment. Well, that is if you can get past the struggles in between. So persevere, be accepting and you just might be surprised!
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