As a teen girl one of the worst things in the world, hands-down, is meeting the guy of your dreams only to learn that he just broke-up with his girlfriend. While it seems that he is over her because he showers you with attention, you can’t help but think that perhaps he still has feelings for his ex. Your instinct is telling you this, and you would be wise to listen to it. Especially in this particular case, or at the very least explore the situation further because you do not want to be in a rebound relationship.
Wiktionary.org, defines a rebound relationship as a relationship preceding a long-term relationship, usually short in duration and used to help mend the “broken heart.” This is not a good place to be ladies, as you will likely get hurt.
So how can you protect yourself and determine if the new guy you are dating is on the rebound? Just ask yourself the following questions and you will get a pretty good sense of where you stand!
- How long since his last relationship? Most research suggests that a person needs one month to every year that they were in a relationship to get over a break-up. So if he dated his ex for one year, then according to research, he should be good to go within in one month’s time. Two years, it should take two months, and so forth. However, I am not convinced that this research is accurate. I think it depends more on the individual and the intensity of the relationship (how much time they spent together, etc.). Therefore, if it’s only been one month since it officially ended, be leery no matter what. Thirty days is not a long time to get someone completely out of your system. So if he shows signs of rebound when you answer the following questions, you could be just that – a rebound.
- Does he still talk to his ex? I don’t care that people say that it is possible to be friends with your ex right after a break-up. In my experience and that of those I know, this is definitely not the case. You need time to break the ties that bind, and disentangle yourself from the web that was weaved. Most often when a newly separated couple still communicates regularly it is because feelings still exist, or they are having a difficult time letting go. This said, if you know he still communicates with his ex in any sense (text, email, phone), be very careful!
- How often does he mention his ex to you and others? If he still talks about his break-up, aspects of the relationship that went wrong, or anything else having to do with his ex, it is likely that he is not over her completely. Someone who is absolutely through with a prior relationship will find little need to talk about it to anyone, especially the new girl in his life. So if he is still avidly speaking of the split, to you or anyone else for that matter, it is not a hopeful sign.
- Does he still have reminders of her around? Discreetly check his locker, cell phone and computer background images, and Facebook, Twitter, and Myspace pages. Does he still have pictures of her and/or other reminders plastered all over the place? If so, it is likely he is having difficulty letting go.
- Does he still talk to her mom and/or other family members regularly? Again, if a guy is over his ex, he will have little need to continue to speak to her family members regularly. Time and again, you will hear people say, “they talk because her mom thinks he’s great” or “they have known each other so long.” This is bogus. There is absolutely no reason for him to communicate with her family. If he does, they are still talking about him and her and the demise of the relationship.
Also Read:
Teenage Girls: Will Your Love Last
Teen Girls: Doing “The Deed”To Keep Him Absolutely Does NOT Work
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