Teen girls, have you ever envisioned something that you would love to do such as join a club or a sports team, apply for a job at your favorite store, tell a guy you like him, or get an “A” on a paper, yet you just can’t seem to summon-up the energy or courage to make it happen? If so, it could be because of one simple little word – fear.
Fear is the mother of all obstacles, the road blocker, and a heart-stopper. Fear immobilizes and hinders you from reaching your full potential. It is extremely common, yet most don’t even recognize that fear is the number one barrier and the very reason that they just can’t seem to accomplish everything (or anything) intended. I am not talking about ‘phobias’ either, such as fear of flying, spiders, and social situations. It is much deeper and less apparent than that. Fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of the unknown, fear of being embarrassed, rejected, frowned upon, appearing stupid, naïve or even get this – fear of success!
It is hard to imagine that one teeny-tiny, little, miniscule word can affect so many, especially teens, and ultimately stop them from reaching their dreams. Yet, fear is so much more than a single word. Therefore, if you can learn to recognize your fear(s) and how to overcome or disarm them, you will prevail. This article, which is the first of a two-part series, explores how to recognize fear, and the second article, How to Overcome Fear: Fear Facts Part II will focus on moving beyond it. So what are you waiting for, read on and learn how you can start to realize your full potential!
Fear Is Not Apparent
Most who suffer from fear, do so subconsciously. Meaning that if you want something you most likely aren’t consciously just not doing it (i.e. showing-up to try-out for the cheerleading squad or completing an application for employment). It is usually because a fear of some kind is blocking you from doing so, and therefore, you miss the appointment or find something else to do instead. While others such as your parents and friends may deem you lazy, unwilling, or even think that you lack ambition or just don’t care about anything, the real problem could in fact be that you are fearful.
False Expectations Appearing Real
There is an acronym for F.E.A.R … False Expectations Appearing Real. Think about that for a moment. What can this possibly mean? Well, if you believe a certain outcome will take place, such as you will not get the job even if you applied, or that the guy you like will not reciprocate the feelings, you in fact expect it to happen. Further these scenarios probably appear to be extremely real and almost unavoidable. Therefore, rather than take a risk and apply for the job, or let the guy that you like know how you feel, you blow it off entirely. However, since there really are no guarantees that these situations will turn out the way you expect, your expectations are in fact false! You are actually creating false expectations, which appear real.
Recognizing Fear
So how do you know if the reason you are not fulfilling your ultimate potential is as a result of fear? You need to examine the situation and yourself. Nobody can tell you for sure. A good exercise is to examine your motives.
For example, why won’t you try out for the soccer team? Is it because you don’t think that you will get chosen and you will let your parents or yourself down? Or worse everyone in school will know that you didn’t make the cut? Possibly you think that even if you make the team you won’t be able to commit the time necessary to ensure that you are a great player? Or you may believe that you will not make the starting line-up and warm the bench the entire season?
This scenario is riddled with fear – fear of failure, success, embarrassment, letting others down, among several others. As you can see it is endless. If you examine your motives or WHY you are choosing not to do something, then you will be able to determine if fear is blocking your path. Once this is done, you will then be able to address your said fear and move beyond and reach your full potential.
Check back for the follow-up article How to Overcome Fear: Fear Facts Part II to learn how to disarm and move beyond your fear.
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