Ugh. So you and your boyfriend had “the talk” and decided to “take a break.” Those horrific three words “take a break”, were officially uttered and you are left feeling destroyed and beaten-down. All you can think about is how incredibly horrible it is going to feel at school when you see him, and how you are going to tell your friends. Well, I want to help lessen the burden (and hopefully the pain) by sharing with you these helpful hints to survive the first few days of your break-up.
(1) Call Someone: Right after you leave him and the break-up is finalized, for immediate comfort, call someone that you TRUST. The key is – trust. Don’t pick a friend you and your ex-boyfriend shared. Call someone who has very little interaction with him (none at all preferably). Tell this person everything, get it all out. It is important in the beginning to not talk about him to people you both know well, or acquaintances. You do not not want to run the risk of him getting second hand information.
(2) Clean: Take everything around you, that reminds you of him, and put it in a box. This includes pictures, presents including jewelry, or anything else. I have ‘boxed’ an electric toothbrush before because it reminded me of him (weird I know). Once you have filled the box, put it out of sight (under your bed, garage, attic, or anywhere else where you will NOT see it).
(3) Inform Others: Make a short list of people you think you should tell of the split (best friend, two closest friends, and possibly your parents or other family members). Send an email, it makes it easier and keep it short and concise. I often like to say something along the lines of, “unfortunately, me and ____ are taking some time apart. We are both good people, but we realize that this break is necessary.” That is it. Of course they will want more information, but unless you really trust the person, and only if they are far removed from HIM, keep it simple. Your best friend, while your best friend may still tell others what you told her out of concern for you. So again, try to keep the details as minimal as possible. Especially if you think you may get back together in the future.
(4) Make Plans: Keep busy! Even though you won’t feel like doing anything call your friends and arrange the next two weekends with them both Friday and Saturday nights. If you need to make plans for week-nights too, do it. Have on hand a few people you can call last minute. Remember though, if you are hanging out with people that know him too, do NOT talk about him, or the split. You will only regret it later. These plans are to keep you busy, not to sulk and go over the break-up.
(5) Do NOT Contact Him: Take his number, email and other contact information out of your phone to lessen the chance you will contact him. Write it down on a piece of paper and keep it in a drawer. If you do not contact him, there is a strong likelihood he WILL call you. However, if you do it first, then there is no need for him to.
These are just a few of the many things I have done to get through the first few days of a break-up. One thought I always keep in mind is that while the break-up is painful, I am one step closer to finding the right person for me. It is a win-win situation. If you break-up, you essentially are clearing the way for someone who is more fitting to take that role in your life. If indeed your “ex” was “the one”, then in time he will come back and it will work out. However, do not hold onto false hope that you will reconcile – girls do this all the time. Remember, there was a reason you broke-up in the first place, and rushing right back-in usually never works in the end.
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