It’s done – o
ver. Your little teen girl heart lay obliterated into a gazillion pieces on the floor. You know it in your heart of hearts, gut of guts, and soul of souls.
This is the last time you will have “the talk.” You know what I mean. The discussion where you keep rehashing all of the things that went wrong – that brought you here. And why you are arguing incessantly over seemingly mundane events, ideas and details.
He is gone. And it’s been days since your phone lit-up with a text from him or the little emoticon that indicates he blew you a kiss. It’s heart-wrenching and you feel like all you can do is muster the strength to crawl out of bed to go to the bathroom. Because well, you have to go to the bathroom – but everything else has lost all meaning. School, sports, your favorite tv shows, gossip on Facebook, slander on Twitter, and Angry Birds, are not of interest in the least at this point.
The term “heartbreak” is real for you now. You get it. It’s as if someone reached deep into your chest and is constricting the very thing that brings you life. Yet, all you can do is think about him. The good times you had, the love you shared, the secrets you entrusted in each other. Nobody knows you like he does, he kept you going. And now well … he is gone. Just gone. And you know that, yes, it’s for good.
Moving On
Teen girls – so what do you do when it gets to this point? When you can’t get him out of your head, and you feel that you have nobody – friends nor family – to confide in?
It’s all about you baby. You need to buck-up, and move on. It is not the end of the world, even though it feels like it is. While you have every right to feel pain, and you should, you must not let it destroy you, now or ever.
Fear usually engulfs us when we lose something near and dear, such as a love, and particularly our first love. It’s the fear of being abandoned or being alone forever. Yet, this is an impossible reality. You will never be alone forever. While you may feel lonely, there are people all around you – you are not alone. To get beyond this, you should “fake it until you make it.” That is, smile when it hurts, when you hurt. Yes, I really mean that. In the article I wrote, How to Survive the Initial Break-up, I provide strategies to help you get through this. And you will get through this. You just need to keep moving, and doing, even when you don’t feel like it.
In today’s day and age, not every teen girl feels she has close friends, or family members, who she is comfortable sharing her deepest heartache with. I learned the hard way that spilling your guts post break-up to those who are supposed to be your “friends” isn’t always the best option. They can (1) get annoyed by your whining and (2) actually use it against you in some way. Hard to fathom I know, and thankfully that isn’t always the case, but it can happen.
So then what do you? How do you change how you feel, especially when it seems that you can’t erase thoughts of him from your mind? Try for a moment to “change the station.” Focus on something else – call a friend who needs you, take a walk, write your feelings out, but whatever you do, have faith. Faith that there is something greater and someone better out there for you. While I know that right now you feel that everything around is coming to pieces, you must trust that there is a plan for you. Keep on keeping on, and in time your broken heart will mend.
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